At some point or another every parent wants to know if they are successful. We all want to be sure that we are raising little people that will one day be wonderful ladies and gentlemen.
There are thousands upon thousands of books about parenting. Some are good resources. Some are a waste of perfectly good trees.
Everyone is a guru. Spank. Don't spank. Time out. Blah, blah, blah, ad infinitum, ad nauseum . Rarely is anything they say of value.
It drives me crazy to hear, "Children don't come with an instruction book." UHM, Bible, anyone?
Anyway.....those very children often gives us signs that we are doing well. I recently got some hidden affirmations that I almost missed.
- Last week, I got a loaf of sourdough bread which is one of my personal favorites. As it happened it wasn't a very sour loaf. It was rather disappointing. My lovely older children said, "Mom, this bread is weird. Its white, and it doesn't have any stuff or nuts in it." I'm paraphrasing, of course, but you get the idea. My kids think white bread is weird. Dark bread with seeds and nuts is normal! Hallelujah!!!!!!!!!!
- Lily and Thomas are such veggie hounds that when they ask for seconds we say no until they eat their meat. They would rather have olives than candy. Thomas goes to a sit down restaurant like Logan's or O'Charleys and asks for the steak. Inevitably the waitress says, "fries with that?" He says, "No, salad with honey mustard, please."
- Family and friends who hold or watch Eli for any length of time ask, "Is he always this happy?" That alone would be great but then I can truthfully say, "yes."
- Just the other day Thomas used his words very poorly and hurt someone's feelings. He got punished and since it was late evening he was sent straight to bed. That's not the victory. This is: The next morning he climbed up in my lap, said good morning and asked to call the person he hurt because he "didn't use good words" and needed to apologize and invite them back over.
- Lily was at the mall with my parents and Thomas. They stopped for a treat. When Dad and Thomas went to the restroom, Lily said, "Nanny, thank you for this drink. It was very thoughtful." What a precious girl! (No, that wasn't paraphrasing. That was verbatum.)
For those that think I am tooting my own horn, well, maybe just a little and some for Thad, too. But the reality is that we just venture to raise them as God sees fit, not us. We planted the seeds but those tender baby hearts allowed them to grow.
As long as I'm here I might as well add my two cents to the blah, blah, blahs of the world.
Children that only eat junk food aren't the problem. Parents that only feed them junk food are the problem. If your kid won't eat vegetables its because you don't serve them. If you serve them and your kids refuse, they shouldn't eat. In our house, I am not a short order cook. I don't take orders. You eat what I serve or you go hungry. If you think that's cruel, you're wrong. Children have a very active survival instinct. They won't allow themselves to starve. They'll eat eventually and might even discover that broccoli isn't all that bad. At our house, this has never lasted more than about half an hour.
Never turning away a hug or kiss shows them that you value their affection. Children that are loved will love others.
"Do as I say and not as I do" is pathetic. Be a good example.
Lastly, we all make mistakes. We all need counsel. Don't turn to a book or a stranger. Go to God first then turn to your parents and grandparents or a trusted close friend that has grown children. They have wisdom with experience. Oprah and Dr. Phil are not parenting or relationship experts, especially when compared with the One who wrote the manual on children and parenting!
Love to all....
Elisha and his ever-faithful friend Lou the Penguin.
