A Disturbing Idea

Thomas had a dental appointment today with a new dentist. We left the last dentist after discovering some disconcerting information about their practice and about a policy that I find positively disturbing. Today, we find out (after having gotten different information over the phone) that the new dentist has the same policy. Apparently most dentists have this policy and parents don't seem to mind. I am speaking of their idea that at 5 (and sometimes younger) a child should go through his appointment with the dentist without his parent present.

They tried valiantly to convince me that it was in Thomas' best interest to be allowed to go behind closed doors with virtual strangers for a minimum of 30 minutes while I just sit back and read a magazine. They suggested that it instilled independence and confidence. All the other parents were doing it. How can he trust the dentist if I don't?

My question is this: If something happens, how can he trust me again? It isn't in their job description to determine that other people's children are ready for something like that. They are not accountable for the well being of those children. He is my responsibility. I claim rights to him by virtue of him coming out of my body! God has chosen me to guard and tend him. I can't imagine shirking that duty because of their arbitrary policy.

I would venture a guess that many of you out there are saying, "what's the big deal? Its just the dentist." The big deal is that if we change the titles of those involved it becomes a potentially dangerous situation that no decent parent would ever consider. Imagine this:

A random person says: you should leave your 5 year old with me, behind closed doors and without accountability. And, by the way, I have enough chemicals behind those doors to incapacitate your child and blur their memory so you will never know what I've done.

Sounds scary, right? Somehow, though, when that random person is wearing brightly colored scrubs and has some initials behind their name they move from the realm of suspicion to acceptability. Why? Do we not hear almost daily about the trusted soccer coach, teacher, or doctor who turns out to be the town pedophile? Would you send your child into the pediatrician alone? Nope. You would insist on being there. You would insist that to leave them alone would be irresponsible. Yet and still doing that at the dentist office is ok?

Needless to say, we are now searching for another dentist. We have a lead on a "family dentist" who specializing in treating the whole family. This time I intend to make myself and my position clear up front. If you happen to know a good dentist who doesn't try to usurp the rights of parents, please let me know.